Carers Week (6th-12th June 2022) was something that was never on my radar until I had a poorly baby. Truth be told, I never thought of myself as a carer, just a Mum until I was made aware that such thing as Carers allowance existed when said baby was almost 2!! When you become a parent you do everything you have to do to keep that baby safe and secure, and it isn’t until you realise it isn’t going to be the instagram fairy tale you expected, that you have to look into such things when a career or job isn’t possible to go back to. As brilliant as Carers Allowance is, no one wants to ever have to qualify for it. I certainly never entertained the possibility so finding myself 4 years later still in the same position, I have a new found respect and appreciation for those that do. My Instagram page was started to raise awareness and connect with others in similar positions and this was true of being a Carer. Sharing our stories makes us feel a little lighter, and less alone. Here I chatted to the inspiration Naomi who is carer to her little fighter Ethan.
1. How has being a carer changed your life?
It's given me a purpose. Something to achieve each day and make sure I give the best care I possibly can. I am more often a carer first before a mummy so thats sometimes hard to accept but I try to make the balance work for us. It takes up a lot of time and sometimes I don't always have time for the 'fun' stuff so it's a learning curve all the time! I really wouldn't change being a carer to my son at all though.
2. What has the experience taught you?
It's taught me that I am stronger than I think and that I can handle pretty much anything that is chucked at me! (Maybe not rocks though )
3. Is there anything you have had to learn that you wish you were told at the start?
There's been loads, but I think the most important is to trust your instincts. You know the person you are caring for more than anyone and you should be listened too.
4. What resources would you recommend?
I would recommend the well child website as there's lots of useful articles and help for those caring for children.
5. What do you hope for the person in your care?
I hope that he knows there's no one else that would fight his corner more and that I won't let anyone treat him any different from the strong person I know and love.
My second carer friend is Bek. We connected on Instagram a few years ago and I have watched her grow from a parent of 3 to then becoming a carer to her youngest beautiful boy Ben.
1. How has being a carer changed your life?
It’s opened my eyes to how much work unpaid carers do and the stress and burnout it can cause if you don’t look after yourself too.
2. What has the experience taught you?
Since changing to a 0hr contract to look after Ben, its actually helped us to develop a better bond and become closer. I also see the world differently now and think I’ve become (at least) a little more understanding of the way that Ben sees the world.
3. Is there anything you have had to learn that you wish you were told at the start?
That it’s okay to find things hard and that it’s also okay to ask for support from others and be open and honest about things to health visitors and things for example. I’ve found the nursery a massive support too, but most of all the Instagram community has been AMAZING.
4. What resources would you recommend?
The internet. It can be so helpful if you use it in the right way. Whether it be nursing journals, charity websites and advice lines, Facebook groups, Instagram pages, small business.. for example @ready.steady.communicate on Instagram. Rebecca is amazing at what she does! There’s a DLA group on Facebook that we’re super helpful when it came to filling in those dreaded forms. There’s also a carers allowance once - I’d have been lost without those sorts of things existing.
5. What do you hope for the person in your care?
For Benjamin to live a happy life. That’s my only aim, and supporting him in that as much as possible, whatever it takes.
Lastly its Kim who I found through social media when I first was raising awareness being a Mum of a baby ostomate. Kim along with her ostomy warrior Jessica produce quality content to both educate and celebrate life with a hidden illness.
1. How has being a carer changed your life?
It has made me realise how important it is to make memory's and enjoy the good days, it has also shown me that everyone has different needs and how courageous people are .
2. What has the experience taught you?
It has taught me that we all have the ability to help others and that not every day is the same , also we all have emotions and some days can be harder then other days and that it's OK to feel emotions .
3. Is there anything you have had to learn that you wish you were told at the start?
Yes I wish I was told she was still going to have pain we was told she would be pain free, but we take each day or each flare up as it comes and deal with it .
4. What resources would you recommend?
I would recommend social media support group and speaking to other parents because some can relate and understand you
5. What do you hope for the person in your care?
To become pain free, to finally get answers to why she suffers.
Being a carer has also opened up the opportunity to work with The Invisible Army ran by Carina and Tina who were connected by Lucie from Artspace Lifespace. Carina had started using creative writing to explore her passion: highlighting the lives of carers (unpaid). Tina had discovered, through her women’s project, that many female carers felt isolated, and she wanted to do something about it. In a warm cafe on a rainy day, Carina and Tina found they ignited each other’s need to create change for this marginalised group, and so their march began. Their goal is to shine a light on carers (unpaid). They want to make the challenges and joys carers cope with every day visible.
Part of the many projects they have going on is an art exhibition to highlight to life of a carer. I was honoured to be part of this. The experience of having a photoshoot with Tina and Carina was wonderful. They made us feel so at ease as a family having photos, and their intentions were extremely honest and true. I look forward to seeing the exhibition that we had the opportunity to be a part of, and if you would like more information about the work they are doing please go and check their socials and website. Thank you to Kim, Bek and Naomi for taking part in this special blog. I hope we can meet in person one day and chat all things kids, mum life and how tired we all are!
Until next time, Rach x
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