Dating With A Stoma - Everything You Need To Know - 5 of 5

Intimacy With A Stoma Blog Series 5 of 5

If you're single, thinking about dating, or recently back on the scene after stoma surgery, this one's for you.
The short version: yes, you can date with a stoma. Many thousands of ostomates do, successfully and happily.

Online Dating

You don't need to mention your stoma in your profile

It's a medical detail, not a personality
trait. Focus on who you are.

🩷 When to share:

When you feel a genuine connection and things are progressing toward meeting or intimacy.

🩷 Some ostomates do mention it early:

 and find it works as an effective filter. The people who
respond positively are the ones worth your time.

The Conversation

The key mindset: confidence is contagious. You're not confessing a dark secret. You're sharing a part of your life.

💬 A Script That Works
"I want to be upfront with you about something. I had surgery and I have a stoma — a small bag I wear on my stomach. It's part of my life now, and honestly, I'm pretty used to it. Happy to answer any questions."

Fear of Rejection

There's a small chance someone won't handle it well. That hurts. But it also tells you something invaluable: that person wasn't right for you. The people who matter won't mind. The people who mind don't matter.

After a Long Gap

1. Start with non-sexual physical closeness (holding hands, cuddling on the sofa)
2. Progress to more extended contact (massage, kissing, skin-to-skin)
3. When you feel ready, explore further, with no expectations
4. Celebrate each step. Every moment of closeness is a win.

LGBTQ+ Ostomates

Everything in this series applies regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Organisations like Colostomy UK are increasingly providing inclusive resources, and online communities offer safe spaces to connect.

Resources for Single Ostomates

• Colostomy UK Helpline: 0800 328 4257 - free, confidential, 9am–10pm
• Meet an Ostomate (meetanostomate.org) - real conversations about dating and relationships.
• Relate (relate.org.uk) - counselling for individuals as well as couples.
• Comfizz Blog more stories from real ostomates on love, life, and getting back out there.

A Final Thought

Your stoma changed your body. It did not change who you are. You are still deserving of love, desire, pleasure, and closeness. It's absolutely worth it.
Don't feel different. Feel confident.

📖 Full Intimacy Series:
1. Intimacy with a Stoma: Yes, It's Possible
2. How to Talk to Your Partner About Intimacy After Stoma Surgery
3. Practical Tips for Intimacy with an Ostomy
4. Body Confidence After Stoma Surgery: Reclaiming Intimacy
5. Dating with a Stoma: Everything You Need to Know ← , you are here